This Blog is the house of my thoughts

Every Time I feel sad
I write in this Blog
Every Time I feel happy and enjoying my Life
I write in this Blog
This Blog is now the house of my thoughts
I write in it all
what I feel
what I don't feel
what I wanna feel
all what happens in my Life
It's like a diary book for me
I write my sorrows my pain my happiness my loneliness that I'm living.
I don't feel the happiness anymore
Today I've cried a lot.
Don't know why
Will I smile again???
Sure!!!
But it won't come from my heart.
It will be just painted on my face.
I'm doing that all the Time instead to be always asked why am I sad.
I don't like to answer the question of the people why am I sad.
Don't want to bother them and also don't want to talk.
Have no friends to talk with
To listen to when I'm crying
To heal my wounds
To take my tears from my face away
To hug me warmly
No one can feel me or know what's inside me.
No one can imagine that's I'm the one who's writing
I seem to be someone else
Someone told me b4 that I'm putting a mask on my face and hide lot of things in my Life
I told him that it's not right but it seems to be right.
I think when someone of my family or my relatives or my friends read this Blog after my death it'll be something interesting when they read it.
They will know more about me and my personality and maybe if one of them hurted me one day they will understand that they are the one behind my sadness. And if someone have made me happy they will know what was those things that have made me happy and they will be always happy that the made me smile.
But then it'll be too late to say sorry and too late to say ohhh I liked it and too late to make any action.
But all what I wish now is to love all the people and be always the one who make them happy so that I don't regret that I made them sad.
I'm telling you sorry if I made you cry
I'm telling you sorry if I made you sad
I'm telling you sorry for all my mistakes.
Forgive me my Family
Forgive me my relatives
Forgive me my friends
I'll love you 4ever even if I hurted you one day.

Bye and pray 4 me.

Give me the key to the freedom and let me go out of your thoughts.

I can't act with two faces
One to love and another to hate
If u done me things I like then I love u
If u hurt my feelings when u don't take care of me then I'll be angry with you.
I know u love me and fear that u lose me.
But u have to trust in God.
I'm very sad 2 tell u that u gave me the anxiety
U r the one who gave me the idea of anxiety
If the anxiety was a human I would have killed him and destroyed him with the Power of God.
I'm not a child anymore 'm a grownup
but hihihihi only with lot of years
not a grown up in thinking …..
Plz let me grow
Don't leave yourself to your bad thoughts
Relax
Have a brake
Give your brain a pause
U r suffering
I know
me 2
I wanna live the Life with her good and bad
I don't ask you something big
It's just my freedom
I wanna go out from the cave u locked me in
I wanna leave that prison that's inside your thoughts
Let me go plzzz
I wanna grow
I wanna think
I wanna fly
I wanna be someone else but not you
I hate myself sooooo much that I can't accept it anymore .
I wanna kill it
I wanna be someone else
Someone that really live the Life not living in your thoughts
Give me the key to the freedom and let me go out of your thoughts.