جمل أثرت في من روايه "العمر لحظه" ليوسف السباعى

نحن لا نستطيع دائما ان نملك كل الأشياء المشرقه فى حياتنا.....

لا نستطيع أن نعدو الى الأفق لنحتضن الشروق
وخير ما تفعلة لكى ننعم بالزهور.......

هو أن نبقيها على أغصانها

نحن أفراد فى مجتمع يخشى بعضة..

مجتمع يشارك السوء فى باطنة..

ويتشارك رداء الزيف فى ظاهرة..

مجتمع يفعل الذنب ويستبشع فعل الغير لة..

مجتمع يسرق..

ويدين السرقة..

ويزنى, ويروعة الزنا..

يسترخى في ارتياح الأبرياء الأطهار وراء ستار الخديعة والزيف والنفاق..

ليشير بأصبع الاستنكار الى الذين أسقطت الظروف عنهم ستر الزيف.... فتعرت الذنوب من ورائها.

Ich verstehe mich nicht

Ich weiß wirklich nicht was ich möchte.
Ich weiß wirklich nicht was ich möchte.

Das nervt mich sehr.

Manchmal sage ich......
Ich möchte in Ruhe und ganz alleine leben.
Ich möchte keine Probleme und weit von den Leuten weg gehen.
Ich möchte das Frieden fühlen.
Ich möchte so alleine befinden.
Ich habe Angst Verantwortung zu haben.
Ich habe Angst dass die Leute meine Gefühle verletzen.
Ich fürchte den Leuten sehr.
Es gibt keine Treue mehr.

Und mamchmal sage ich....
Ich möchte heiraten und Kinder bekommen und eine schöne Familie haben.

Aber ich weiss noch nicht was ich möchte.
Habe mich noch nicht entschieden.


Warum bin ich so?
Werde ich jemanden finden der mich wirklich vom Herzen liebt.....
der sich viele Mühe gibt um mich zu haben...........
der mich die Liebe beibringt?
Der mich so liebt genauso wie ich bin....
Ich glaube niemand auf dieser Welt hat diese Beschreibung....
außer einer und der ist
Gott.
Ich lebe diese Tage ganz alleine in mein eigener Welt daß ich für mich geschöpft habe.
Ich möchte mit niemanden sprechen.
Sie verletzen meine Gefühle.
Sie ignorieren mein Existenz.
Manchmal habe ich das Gefühl ich bin durchsichtlich und die Leute sehen mich nicht.
Ich lebe mit meinem Blatt und meinen Bleistift.
Ich lebe mit meine Musik dass ich immer mit mir nehme wohin ich gehe und versuche so zu machen als sähe mich niemanden.
Mein Problem ist daß ich in ein mein eigener Welt leben möchte und akzeptiere meiner nicht.
Ich möchte in einen romantischen Welt leben.
Ich mag auch die amerikanische romantische Filme sehr und möchte auch so leben.
Der Mann der seine Frau liebt.Und die Frau die ihren Mann liebt.
Morgens wenn sie zur Arbeit fährt legt er für sie eine schöne Blume auf dem Türauto mit einer süßen netten Karte wo es darin steht ''ich liebe dich mein lieber Engel Pass gut auf dich auf.Komm schnell zurück ich warte auf dich.''
Kisses and Hugs....xxxxxoooo
Und wenn die Frau nach Hause zurückkehrt findet sie dass ihrer Mann in die Küche steht und das Mittagessen für sie vorbereitet. Schnell zieht sie ihrer Kleidung aus und kommt und hilft ihn bei der Vorbereitung.
Er ist heute früh gekommen und deswegen wollte er seine Frau überraschen und für sie das Mittagessen vorbereiten.
Nachdem Mittagessen schlafen sie bis fünf und dann kommt das Teezeit.Sie sitzen zusammen an die Terrasse trinken Tee spielen karte und essen auch dabei leckeres stück Kuchen. Während des Spiels sprechen sie miteinander über alles was sie draußen gemacht hatten.Sie erzählen alles was sie erlebt haben.
Sie sprechen spielen essen trinken und schwatzen die ganze Zeit.
Wenn das Abendessen kommt gehen sie zur Küche und kochen was leckeres für das romantische Abendessen.Sie liegen auf den Tisch schoene romantische Kerzen und hören schöne Musik.Es ist sehr ruhig.Sie gucken aneinander und sprechen nicht mehr. Sie lassen ihre Augen das Gespräch zu führen.Die Sprache der Augen sagt alles was im Herz passiert.
OHHHHHH was für eine schöne Ehe ist das.
Gibt es soo was im wirklichen Leben oder sehe ich das nur in Filme?
Das ist meine Frage für den ich ja auch keine Antwort habe.
Am ende möchte ich wissen ob ich es wirklich haben möchte oder nicht?
Ich weiß wirklich nicht was ich möchte und das nervt mich so sehr.

This mail is an answer for me

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation!
A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away. Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter. "How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!" "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!" To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way.
Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful! God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers everyspring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart. If you like this, send this on to the people you really care about. I did. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

It's a very nice mail i just wanted to put in my Blog to read it always when i'm not in the right mood

PUT THE GLASS DOWN !
A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water init. He held it up for all to see & asked the students, "How much do you think this glass weighs?" "50gms!"... "100gms!" ......"125gms" ......the students answered. "I really don't know unless I weigh it," said the professor, "but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?" "Nothing" the students said. "Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?" the professor asked. "Your arm would begin to ache" said one of the students.
"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!" ventured another student & all the students laughed.
"Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" asked the professor.
"No". " Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress, and how can I get rid of it?" Now, the students were puzzled. "Put the glass down!" said one of the students.
"Exactly!" said the professor.

" Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
Think often for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPOR T ANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. T hat way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!"
So, as it becomes time for you to leave office today...
Remember friends:
YOU MUST 'PUT T HE GLASS DOWN' T ODAY!
Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
and Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u glowing,
and God keeps you going

This Blog is the house of my thoughts

Every Time I feel sad
I write in this Blog
Every Time I feel happy and enjoying my Life
I write in this Blog
This Blog is now the house of my thoughts
I write in it all
what I feel
what I don't feel
what I wanna feel
all what happens in my Life
It's like a diary book for me
I write my sorrows my pain my happiness my loneliness that I'm living.
I don't feel the happiness anymore
Today I've cried a lot.
Don't know why
Will I smile again???
Sure!!!
But it won't come from my heart.
It will be just painted on my face.
I'm doing that all the Time instead to be always asked why am I sad.
I don't like to answer the question of the people why am I sad.
Don't want to bother them and also don't want to talk.
Have no friends to talk with
To listen to when I'm crying
To heal my wounds
To take my tears from my face away
To hug me warmly
No one can feel me or know what's inside me.
No one can imagine that's I'm the one who's writing
I seem to be someone else
Someone told me b4 that I'm putting a mask on my face and hide lot of things in my Life
I told him that it's not right but it seems to be right.
I think when someone of my family or my relatives or my friends read this Blog after my death it'll be something interesting when they read it.
They will know more about me and my personality and maybe if one of them hurted me one day they will understand that they are the one behind my sadness. And if someone have made me happy they will know what was those things that have made me happy and they will be always happy that the made me smile.
But then it'll be too late to say sorry and too late to say ohhh I liked it and too late to make any action.
But all what I wish now is to love all the people and be always the one who make them happy so that I don't regret that I made them sad.
I'm telling you sorry if I made you cry
I'm telling you sorry if I made you sad
I'm telling you sorry for all my mistakes.
Forgive me my Family
Forgive me my relatives
Forgive me my friends
I'll love you 4ever even if I hurted you one day.

Bye and pray 4 me.

Give me the key to the freedom and let me go out of your thoughts.

I can't act with two faces
One to love and another to hate
If u done me things I like then I love u
If u hurt my feelings when u don't take care of me then I'll be angry with you.
I know u love me and fear that u lose me.
But u have to trust in God.
I'm very sad 2 tell u that u gave me the anxiety
U r the one who gave me the idea of anxiety
If the anxiety was a human I would have killed him and destroyed him with the Power of God.
I'm not a child anymore 'm a grownup
but hihihihi only with lot of years
not a grown up in thinking …..
Plz let me grow
Don't leave yourself to your bad thoughts
Relax
Have a brake
Give your brain a pause
U r suffering
I know
me 2
I wanna live the Life with her good and bad
I don't ask you something big
It's just my freedom
I wanna go out from the cave u locked me in
I wanna leave that prison that's inside your thoughts
Let me go plzzz
I wanna grow
I wanna think
I wanna fly
I wanna be someone else but not you
I hate myself sooooo much that I can't accept it anymore .
I wanna kill it
I wanna be someone else
Someone that really live the Life not living in your thoughts
Give me the key to the freedom and let me go out of your thoughts.

***Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde***

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content.
What's Your Blogging Personality?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourbloggingpersonalityquiz/

زمااااااااااااان لما كنا صغيرين

زمااااااااااااان لما كنا صغيرين كنا بنقعد أنا وأخويا و بابا على السرير وبابا يحكلنا حكاية قبل النوم.لكن حكايتة كانت مختلفه عن الحكايات اللى بيحكوها الأباء لأطفالهم فلم تكن القصة مكتوبة في كتاب .
حكايه بابا اسمها القطة الكبيره والقطة الصغيرة. والمقصود بالقطة الكبيره والقطة الصغيرة هما أنا وأخويا ومحتوى القصة هى أفعالنا اليومية. كان بيحكلنا الحاجات اللى عملناها طول اليوم سواء حاجات حلوة أو حاجات وحشة .وبقينا أحنا فى نهاية كل يوم بنقعد أنا وأخويا وبابا على السرير ونطلب منة يحكلنا حكاية القطة الكبيره والقطة الصغيرة.
أعتقد انها كانت طريقة جميلة جدا للتأديب علشان يعلمنا من غير ما يقعد يوعظنا فكان بيشجعنا لما نعمل حاجه كويسة ويلفت نظرنا لما نعمل حاجة غلط.
كان يقول مثلا القطة الكبيره مازكرتش النهاردة كويس ونامت طول اليوم و القطة الصغيرة زاكرت كويس بس ضايقت القطة الكبيره واتخانقت واتشاكلت معاها.
الللللللللة كانت أيام جميلة كنا دايما بنضحك لما بابا بيحكلنا الحكاية واحنا أياميها كنا عارفين انة يقصدنا بالحكاية...... كانت أيام جميلة.الأيام اللي كنا فيها صغيرين .
أنا فاكرة مره بابا قال نكتة ماكنتش تضحك أوى بس أنا أعدت أضحك عليها و من كتر ماضحكت اتخبطت راسى في الحيطة. كنا بنضحك كتير أوى.
أنا فاكرة كمان ان أنا وأخويا كنا بنام علي ظهرنا ونبص للسقف ونقعد نقول كان واحد اسمه لمبه كان واحد اسمه نجفة كان واحد اسمه كرسى ونتسابق في ذكر أسماء لايمكن للناس انها تتسما بيها. وبعد منقول الأسامى ديه نقعد نضحك جدا علي الأسامي اللي بنقولها ونفضل علي الحاله ديه مدة ليست بقليله لحد ما نتعب من الضحك أو لما نزهق فنقوم نعمل حاجة تانية.
كان عندنا لعبة مسليه أوي وهى اسمها توته وكانت من أحب اللعب الي قلبنا.العبه ديه كل الأطفال تقريبا بيلعبوها وهما صغيرين. لعبة بابا وماما.كنا بنعمل خيمه بالكوفرته ونسبتها في كراسى ونلم كل الأعاب اللى بنحبها ونلعب تحت الكوفرته قصدي الخيمة.والعروستان بتوعي كيكي وبوسي هما الأطفال والأب اسمة فتحي معرفش جبنا الاسم دة منين.وكنا بنقدى وقت جميل أوي تحت الخيمه ديه وساعات كمان نتغدى تحت.
لما عمتنا زارتنا واحنا صغيرين كنا بننقل السجاده ونحطها في البلكونه وتكون الشمس منورة نقعد نلعب كوتشينة وكانت ساعات بتحكلنا من طرائف جحا كانت أيام جميله واحنا صغيرين.
لمل كبرت شوية كان معظم وقتى بقضية في قراءة كتب القراءة للجميع. مان بابا مواظب على شراء كل يوم كتاب أو أتنين وكنت دايما بخلصهم.
لما بزهق من القراءة كنت برسم. بحب أنقل أشكال كاريكاتورية وبعدها أقوم بتلوينها.
وكل ده لما كنا صغيرين في حاجات كبرت معايا وفضلت لسة بعملها زي القراءه مثلا والرسم لما تشدنى صورة من غير ما أفكر بقوم رسماها حتي لو في وسط محاضرة في الجامعة مثلا.
كنت بعملها كتير وياما رسمت أيام المحاضرات.
دلوقتي في حاجة جدت عليا وهي الكتابة. أنا لما كنت صغيرة كنت بحب أكتب برضة مذكراتي بس أكيد طبعا كانت حاجات على أد سنى ساعتها لما بقرأها دلوقتى بفطس على روحى من الضحك.
دلوقتي بكتب حاجات أكبر شويه وأكيد لما أكبر كمان تانى هاضحك عليها. بس هى حاجة فعلا مسليه ان الواحد يكتب اللى جواة واللي حاسس بيه والمذكرات بتاعته .

She apologized with doing not only with words (4.4.2006)

Today is the forth from April 2006.@ 8 in the morning I received 4m her a very nice msg…
I felt a lot 4m this msg…..
All what she wrote was:
Good morning Demi :) I'm reminding you of ma3adna 2day after work @ 5 I'll call u during the day 3ashan netefe2….. c u 2day sweetie :)
P.S. I miss u soooo much.
She called me from a week and wanted soo much 2 c me.
She told me that I miss her so much and that she wanna c me and we have 2 meet next week actually she wanted to meet me the day she called me but I've had work so we couldn't meet.
She told me call me to set a date and I told her insha2allah that means that I won't talk…but she insisted to call once again.
I left the issue opened and when the new week began I forget our last call and her wish to c me.
I don't want 2 be hurt again so I didn't think about the call.
(Who wants me should come 2 me and I'll be always there for him so that I don't have bad conscience.)
But it seems that this Time she was honest with herself and me.
She sent me 2day this nice msg as if she wanted to tell me it's reall and 'm not joking and I really wanna c u.
@ the beginning I didn't know if I have to say yes or no to go out with her and I left everything and didn't take any action. But during the day she called me twice to set a date.@ last we have decided 2 meet @ 4:30 in front of Hardees.
After a very long day @ work I went to Hardees where we decided 2 meet.
She came after a long waiting…….
She was pretty, very very nice, and very caring.
I was starving so I told her we have to go to eat@ Felfela and eat first b4 doing anything else & she insisted 2 invite me.
After buying the food we ate it during our walk on the street. It was very nice.
Then we went to (….) shop to look for stuff we needed.And I wanted to buy a gift for my Father cause of his birthday.She was very caring and helped me in choosing good things.
Every time she was helping me I felt she was telling me
Sorry 4 what I have done 2 you
Sorry cause I hurted your feelings
Sorry that I wasn't the friend u've wished
Sorry 4 lot of things
I couldn't imagine that this was her….she was very tender and full of Love.
We went to lot of cloth shops and then came the time when we've 2 say Goodbye..
She told me don't be upset from me.
All what I can say is that she was really very nice to me.
When I came back home I received from her another msg and here is the content of the msg:
DemiJ I enjoyed today much.. Thank u so much % plz matez3alish meni..I hope we can do this evey now & then..I love u awi awi..
Sender :)
4.4.2006
I can't refuse your apologize & will never forget that day in my Life cause u did lot of good things to me .
U apologized with doing not only with words and that's all what I wanted 4m u.
Thank you my friend.

24 Years old girl but still a child

I like running on the street.
I don't bother what people say about me when I run
I do all the things I wanna do at any time I want.

When I go to Pizza Hut I wash the plate b4 eating
Cause I'm not sure if they wash it good or not.

When I go to cafes in Khan el Khalili I bring my cup with me
Cause I don't like the glasses where all the people drink in .
I'm not sure if they wash it good or not.

From two days ago two birds flew into the Library where I work
I was very afraid so that I sat under the desk and ignored the one I was talking with I was thinking about the two birds which are flying in the library.

People can know lot of things about me in a very short Time
cause I'm like the open book just like the children
I trust all the people and don't expect the bad from them.

I don't take this Life as a reall life
It's like a film where I'm acting that I'm a daughter a sister a friend a clerk .
It's not a reall life .
Everyone has a role and playing it till he finish his role and the end comes when he dies.

I don't think of tomorrow and live day by day.
But I have some dremas that I wish they come true one day.
I hope I wish and I'll be happy if they came true.
And finally that's really me

Bald kommt das Sommer wieder

Wir sind jetzt im Frühling und bald kommt das Sommer wieder.Freue mich darüber sehr.Wenn die Sonne strahlt bin ich immer glücklich und fröhlich.Und meistens bin ich in eine gute Laune .
Obwohl es sehr heiß wird und obwohl daß ich immer Kopfschmerzen von der Sonne kriege ist Sommer mein aller liebster Jahreszeit von den vier Jahreszeiten.
Sommer bedeutet für mich Freude, Liebe ,Meer, und all die schönen Begriffe.
Meine lieblingsfarben im Sommer sind all die hellen farbigen und bunten Farben wie zb. rot/ orange / lilla / weiß/ hellblau.Diese sind meine Lieblingsfarben die ich besonders mag. Meine allerliebste Farbe ist die türkise Farbe.Sie hat eine große Bedeutung für mich.....(Ruhe Frieden Klarheit Gemütlichkeit)
Sommerkleidung mag ich auch mehr als Winterkleidung.Kurze Hosen und ne T-shirt mit einfachen Flipflop......ohhhh sehr angenehm.Man fühlt sich so wie zu Hause.
Meine Lieblingsgeschäfte sind New Man/ Mobaco/ Esprit/ Pimkie und Rojada. Diese Geschäfte haben coole Sommerkleidung.
Sandalen sind auch so bequem besonders die schipschip flaten Schuhe sind sehr angenehm.
Wenn es heiß im Sommer wird gibt es viele Optionen von Getränke von Obst Säfte wie Lemonade Mango und Guava.Hot cold Choclate ist auch sehr sehr lecker mmmmm.Eis ist auch cool.So schöne Getränke und Eis das man trinken und essen kann.
Es gibt auch body Sprays die nach Obstgeruch rieschen die sind ja so frisch und du fühlst sich so cool und fresh als wärst du in einem Obstgarten gelandet.
Meine lieblings Spraygeruch sind Apfel Birnen und chokolade.
Die Programmsendungen die ich im Sommer am besten höre sind entweder über Fashion ( in Kleidung Make-up oder Haarstyle) Musikprogramme die die neuesten Lieder spielen oder die die Schauspielern einladen und ihnen interviewen.
Als ich klein war habe ich immer geträumt eine Schuspielerin zu werden aber leider bin ich jetzt keine Schauspielern.Ich arbeite in einer Bibliothek die zu einer der größten Institute in Deutschland und weltweit gehört.
Es ist ein sehr schöner Platz wo ich arbeite und bin auch sehr stolz daß ich dort arbeite.Ich mag auch meine Kolleginnen sehr da sie hilfsbereit und freundlich sind.
Die Sommerlieder sind die schönsten Sache im Sommer.Musik ist sehr cool .Ohhhhh es wäre sehr schön wenn ich jetzt am Strand liege und soft Musik höre.Oder wenn ich am Strand spazieren gehe und Musik höre.....
Es wäre auch schöner wenn niemand am Strand sitzt damit ich in Ruhe alleine tanzen kann und alles machen was ich möchte.
Am Meer wehen sich schöne heiße Winde und ich höre Musik und tanze und fliege in die Luft. (Als ich klein war habe ich auch immer geträumt eine Ballerina zu werden.Die Ballerinas können sehr schön tanzen und sie fliegen wie die Vögeln auf die Bühne ahhhhhh wie schön. Sicherlich wenn die tanzen haben sie ein sehr schönes Gefühl.)
Ohhhh ich möchte jetzt ans Meer fahren und dort paar Tage verbringen und an nichts im Leben zu denken außer die Ruhe.....nur so in Ruhe alleine sitzen und die Natur dort genießen. Die Natur ist die schönste echte Sache im Leben. Sie lügt nicht wenn das Gras grün ist dann ist es auch grün und keine andere farbe.....nicht wie die Menschen die immer verschiedene farben haben.Die Natur ist soooo pure und stark.
Ich hoffe dieses Sommer erlebe ich in meinem Leben ein schönes Ereigniss das mein Leben zu etwas schönes verändert.
Und bald kommt das Sommer wieder.

لا أريد أن يسرق أحد منى سعادتى

ان البحث عن السعادة في هذا العالم مثل البحث عن ابرة فى كومة قش كما يقولون في الأمثال. بدأت رحلة بحثى عن السعادة منذ يوليو الماضى من عام 2005. كان عندنا رحلة الي كينج مريوط وكان موضوع درس الكتاب رسالة بولس الرسول الي أهل فيلبى وتتميز هذه الرساله بأنها مليئة بالفرح بالرغم من أن بولس الرسول كتبها وهو فى السجن....لكن هذا لم يمنعه من أن يذكر الناس خارج السجن ويدعو لهم. مما فى ذلك من تعارض كبير لمن هم فى السجن. فعادة من يكون مسجونا يشعر بالحزن والألم عكس شعور بولس الرسول تماما.
فرسالتة مليئة بالكلمات المفرحة و المعزية.
أخذت أقرأ هذة الرساله مرارا و تكرارا لكى أحصل علي هذة السعادة التى بداخل بولس الرسول... ولكننى للأسف تجاهلت أو تناسيت علو قامه بولس الرسول الروحيه
فهو أكثر الرسل الذين جاهدوا لتصل كلمة اللة لعدد كبير من الناس.
ومنذ ذلك الحين – قراءة الرسالة – وأنا أبحث عن هذا الفرح الدائم.
أنا بطبيعتى دائما أضحك وأبتسم . فالابتسامة لاتفارقنى الا اذا ضايقنى أحد أو جرح أحدهم مشاعرى أو تجاهل وجودى. أضحك من أعماق قلبى أحيانا على أشياء لا يضحك الناس عليها ولكنها تضحكنى. أحيانا أشعر أننى طفلة كبيره ترفض عالم الكبار.
ولكننى أريد أن أصل الى السعادة الغير مبنية علي رد فعل الناس.....
فاذا جرحنى أحد أو تجاهل وجودي لا أتضايق ولا يتعكر مذاجى.....
أننى أرفض أن أكون كذلك وأبحث جاهدة عن السعادة الدائمة عن السعادة الغير مبنية على الأسباب.
لا أريد أن يسرق أحد منى ابتسامتى.
أريد أن أكون قوية مسيطرة على مشاعرى.
أريد أن أرى الجزء المملؤ من الكأس وليس الجزء الفارغ.
ولكننى للأسف كلما أحاول جاهدة أن أصل الي هذا القدر من السعادة أجدني أزداد حزنا وكابة وأكتشفت مؤخرا اننى دئما أركز على ذاتى أركز على أن أفرح وعلي أن أكون سعيدة ومبتسمه طوال الوقت ولم أعرف انه لو لم أركز علي الموضوع برمته سوف يأتى بمفردة أى اننى اذ لم أركز علي أن أكون سعيده طوال الوقت سأكون بالفعل سعيده طوال الوقت دون ان أشعر.
هناك أوقات أستيقذ فيها من النوم أجد نفسى متضايقة ولا أريد أن أبتسم لا أعرف لماذا ولكننى أستيقذ بمزاج سئ فأحاول أن أبحث عن شئ يخرجنى من هذا المزاج السئ.ففي طريقي الي العمل وبدون أن أقصد أري امرأه عجوزه وحيده تبتاع مناديل في الشارع وتكون مبتسمه مع انها لاتملك أي شئ سوي المناديل التى تبتاعة.فأقول لنفسى أشكرك يااللة علي منزلي وعلي أهلي وعلي كل الخيرات والنعم التى أعططنى اياها.....
أشكرك لأنى أمشى .....
أشكرك لأنى أرى....
أشكرك لأنى أسمع وأتكلم.....
أشكرك علي كل النعم والأشياء التي أمتلكها.
فأجد نفسى قد خرجت من المزاج السئ الذي صحوت بة.
ان الأشياء الصغيرة التى تحدث لي سواء ايجابيه أو سلبيه تؤثر علي دائما.
فاذا شكرنى شخص أو قدر شئ صغير فعلته لة أكون ممتنه له جدا وأظل سعيده طوال اليوم من جراء كلمات الشكر هذه... واذا أخطأت أو ضايقت شخص فأتكدر ويصبح مزاجى سيئا للغاية.
أحيانا أفكر اننى مثل الورقة البيضاء التى
اذا رسمت عليها وردة جميله تجد الورقه ملونه وجميله وبها ورده جميله أيضا.
ولكن اذا رسمت عليها نقط سوداء تجدها مليئة بالنقط السوداء أيضا.
فدائما تجد ما يرسمه الناس فيا.
ولكننى أرغب وبشدة أن أجعل الورقه مليئة بالورود حتي لو جاءت عليها النقط السوداء فبامكانى أن أجعل من النقط السوداء الشوك الموجود في الورد..... وهكذا أبقى دائما وردة جميله.
أري دائما الجانب الايجابى والشئ الجميل في الشئ القبيح.
منذ شهر تقريبا وقع في يدي كتاب اسمه "السعادة تنبع من الداخل" وكان هذا الكتاب البدايه أو الخطوة الأولى للتعرف علي السعادة الحقيقيه.
ان الكاتب يتحدث في البدايه عن الأشياء التى تحرمنا من الشعور بالسعاده وبعد ذلك يذكر لنا الخطوات التي يجب علينا ان نتبعها كي نتخلص من الكابه والألم فى حياتنا ويحل محلها السعادة.
انني انتهيت من قراءه هذا الكتاب قراءه مبدئية. وأقوم الأن بقراته بتمعن كى أنفذ ما هو مكتوب كي أعيش في سعادة دائمه.
سأقوم بتدوين بعض الملاحظات وسوف أكتبها هنا بعد ذلك كى تستفيدوا معى وتشعروا بالسعادة ا لدائمه .فسأفرح اذا فرحتم انتم معى أيضا.

كل سنه وأنت طيبة ياأغلى ما ليا أمي الحبيبة

في عيدك ياأمى ياغاليه
باهديلك قلبى هديه
قلبى ده صغير
لكن كله محبه وحنية
محبه ليكى ياأمى
ياأغلي من عينايا
في الضيفه دايما جنبى
وصدرك دايما مفتوحلى
ودانك سابق لسانك
بتسمعي لهمومي ومشاكلي
ودايما حاسه يا
سامحينى ياأمى ياغاليه
على كل اللى بسببهولك من اذيه
جرح مشاعر أو ألفاظ مش اللى هيا
انت قلبك كبير
يقدي من الحبايب ميه
أحلي الأوقات اللي بقديها معاكى
لما بنشترى هدوم العيد
عايزانى علي طول أحسن واحدة
لكنى للأسف مكنتش ليكى
البنت اللى تتمنيها
خذلتك كتير وزعلتك منى أكتر
بس بجد بحاول أغير نفسى
ساعدينى يا أغلي ما ليا
في الدنيا ديا
ماتعرفيش قد ايه كنت فرحانه انهاردة
لما أعدت علي حجرك
انهارده وحضنتك
حسيت بجد انى طفله
ومش خايفة من العالم اللى بره
الكلام دة مش انشا
ده الكلام اللى جوايا
أنا بحبك جدا ياأمى

Ein Tag in meinem Leben 20.3 2006.

Heute beginnt ein neuer Tag.
Ich war gestern sehr müde aber heute geht’s mir viel besser.
Um 9:45 stand ich heute auf.
Immer wasche ich mich und dann ziehe ich mich an.
Heute hat Mama mir kein Brot gemacht deswegen sollte ich es heute für mich selber machen.
Sie hat nur das Brot vom Kühlschrank gebracht und auf dem Esstisch gelegt.
Und die Foulkanne hat sie auf dem Herd gelegt.
Was ich machen sollte ist es nur die Foulkanne zu wärmen und das habe ich gemacht.
Während sich die Foulkanne wärmt wollte ich ja auch beten.
Mein Morgengebet dauert ja nicht so lange.
Nach meinem Morgengebet war die Foulkanne schon fertig gewärmt.
Und ich habe mir endlich zwei Brötchen gemacht.
Nachdem ich fertig war habe ich das Geschirr gespült.
(Ich möchte euch sehr gerne erzählen die Geschichte des Geschirr spülen …….
Seit ungefähr zwei Wochen oder vielleicht mehr habe ich das Buch des Papsts über die Verehrung der Eltern gelesen. Es ist das vierte Gebot:
Du sollst deinen Vater und deine Mutter ehren,auf daß es dir wohlgehe und du lange lebest auf Erden.
Seitdem ich es gelesen hatte habe ich entdeckt wie unverschämt ich mit meinen Eltern war.
Und deswegen habe ich mich entschieden mehr auf sie aufzupassen und sie zu helfen.
Ich begann mit das Spülen des Geschirrs.Es ist die einzige Sache die ich machen kann und die ich auch gerne mache. Das ist die Geschichte des Geschirr spülen.)
Nach dem Geschirrspülung grüßte ich Papa und dann ging ich zur Arbeit.
Auf dem Weg zur Arbeit war ich ja in eine nicht so frische Laune…..aber trotzdem habe ich gesungen damit ich mich amusiere.
Auf der Straße gucke ich nie rechts oder links ich konzentriere immer geradeaus und wen mich jemand anruft oder zu mir spricht den höre ich gar nicht denn es sieht so aus als ob ich in einem anderen Welt fliege.
Ich hörte ihn sprechen wusste aber nicht dass er mir ansprach. Er hat geflirtet deswegen habe ich nicht gekuckt aber seine Stimme habe ich gekannt deswegen kehrte ich noch mal zurück um ihn zu grüßen. Er saß in seinem Auto.
Er ist der Vater einer meiner bekannten in der Kirche. Sein Sohn ist seit vorgestern vom Krankenhaus gebracht worden….trotzdem sagt er mir immer so nette und schöne Wörter. Er ist natürlich sehr traurig aber trotzdem sagt er Witze und solche Sachen.
Ich habe dann endlich gelacht na man kann läscheln sagen.
Und mein Tag ist geändert worden.
Das Lachen macht wirklich so schöne Sachen im Menschen weiß genau nicht was ist es genau aber es lässt den Menschen so frisch und froh .
Da begann meinen Tag ….. es war ein schöner Tag.
Es gab natürlich wie immer viel Arbeit aber das Leben geht weiter und alles geht wenn man lacht.
Aber manchmal gibt es im Leben keinen Grund damit man lacht oder so fröhlich und herrlich bleibt aber trotzdem muss das Leben weitergehen.

I wanna feel you in my life

I wanna feel you in my life
Everyday and every night
I wanna be your friend
& don't care about the end
I wanna be with you
Cause I love you
So don't leave me alone
Even if I lost or didn't find my way
Come onto my heart and have a seat.

I dedicate this to Azza Who makes me feel smile

Your smile makes me happy and makes me feel comfortable.
You're not so close to me but you make me smile from the deep.
Your smile makes me feel the peace and that there is no problem can face me.
When I see you and look at your face I feel so happy and want to laugh.
I wish I was like you.
I smile all the day like you but perhaps my smile doesn't give me this peace maybe it gives peace to the people who look at me but unfortunately not me.
Sometimes I smile but not from my heart I only smile because that's me.
Smiling is like my eyes and ears to me.
It's something that I was born with.
I worry about lot of things and this makes me keep thinking and also not to be happy all the time.
But you make everything so easy and you don't worry about anything.
Maybe you are stronger than me because you had a very sad experience…..
you lost your treasure and this is your mother…..
so maybe your smile comes that you don't have anything else in this world to lose.
So you tell everyone with your smile that there is nothing worse than what happened to you so you are smiling all the time and giving peace to all the people.
Keep smiling my friend and give me always some of your peace.

I wanna Peace

I wanna raise my voice and tell them stop the war.
I wanna tell them you won't live forever.
I wanna go to the killers and ask them why do you kill people???
I wanna peace.
I wanna happiness.
I wanna love.
I wanna hear lovely songs.
Stop killing
Stop doing stupid things
Stop the war
Stop hating
Listen to your good pure hearts that you killed by killing the people.
Try to forgive
Try to forget
Try to live in peace
Try be united to kill the devil.
Everything will be OK

عايزه أكتب حاجه

عايزه أكتب حاجه أي حاجه وكل حاجه
عايزه أخرج كل اللي جوايا
اللى بحسه واللي هاحسه واللي مابحسوش
عايزه أطلق لفكرى العنان
وأخليه يسبح فى دنيا الخبال
عايزه أطير لعالم الأحلام
عالم مافيهوش ألم ولا أحزان
عالم ملىء بالنور والبهجه والسلام
عالم هادى وجميل وكله أمال

Do this if you love her…….

be her friend when she need a friend
be her father when she need an advise or when she need money :-)))
be her mother when she need tenderness…..when she wants someone to talk with
be hers and she will be all yours
keep her near your heart
talk to her with your eyes
tell her that you love her on the sky so that all the people know how much you love her.
Do crazy things to show her that you fall in Love with her
Do all things if you love her and she'll be yours

when you love someone
you do all things
you do crazy things
to show him that you love him

ربع ساعه في السوق مع بابا

وأنا صغيره كنت ساعات بروح مع بابا السوق مش دايما يعنى...... لما ببقى زهقانه كنت بنزل معاه .ده لما كنت صغيره.
النهارده السبت 11/3/2006 لما كبرت و بقيت بشتغل حبيت أروح مع بابا السوق....لقيت الجو جميل و الشمس طالعه قلت أنزل معاه و أتمشى وخصوصا انى بحب أنزل أوى مع بابا لأنه دائما بيقعد يهزر ويفاصل مع البياعين وبحس انه فى ألفه بينه و بين الناس.
نزلنا السوق وكان الجو جميل زي ما قلت في البدايه...واحنا ماشيين بابا شاف فراوله شكلها حلو كدة فسأل الست بتاعه الفراوله :بكام الفراوله ديه؟ 1,50 ؟
فردت الست وهى مبتسمه : ب2,00 يابيه.وأعدت تغني للفراوله وهى مبتسمه كأنها بتغنى لحبيبها . الست ديه لو شفتها وهى قاعدة كدة علي الأرض وفرشه الفرشه بتاعتها وقاعدة مبتسمه كده تقول انها قاعدة في بيتها كده ومريحه......عجبتنى أوي ابتسامه الست ديه وقلت في نفسى الست دية أكيد راضية بحالها لأن الأبتسامه بتاعتها ايتسامه تريح الزبون وتخليه يشتري منها علشان ابتسامتها و روحها الجميله.
بعد ما اشترينا الفراوله بابا قال لها خللي الفراوله عندك ونبقى نيجى ناخذها بعد ما نلف في السوق.ومشينا من عند الست وأعدنا نتفرج علي الخضار و الفاكهه اللي فى السوق.
بصراحه أنا كنت ماشيه خايفه لهدومى تتوسخ علشان الشارع ضيق ومتوسخ والناس يعنى مش مهتمين بمنظرهم الخارجى أوى ..... ناس بسيطه وكمان كنت ماشيه بحذر علشان بخاف من الكلاب والشارع ضيق يعنى مش هاينفع أجري أو أعمل أي حركه متهوره.
المهم رحنا عند بياع الخص واحنا واقفين عنده سألته بنت عن تمن الخص قال لها 2 ب1,00 حاولت تفاصل و تاخد 4 ب 1,00 فشلت في الفصال فمشيت.أما انا و بابا فاشترينا 2 ب 1,00 وسبناها برضه عند الراجل زى ماعملنا مع الست بتاعه الفراوله.
كملنا مشى لحد الراجل بياع التوم. الراجل ده شكله برضه طيب أوى كل شويه يقول لبابا كل سنه وأنت طيب يابيه وبعد ما اشترينا التوم سبناه برضه عند الراجل زى ماعملنا مع الراجل بتاع الالخص و الست بتاعه الفراوله.اخر حاجه رحنا اشتريناها كان اليوستفندى .
في طريق العوده لأخذ الحاجات اللى ركناها عند البياعيين شفت الفرارجى بيوزن لستات الفراخ استغربت جدا لأن اليومين دول بالذات محدش بيأكل فراخ علشان أنفلونزا الطيورالمهم كنت ماشيه وأنا خايفه لفرخه تلمسني أو تفلت من أيدين البياع......لكن الحم لله جالي مكالمه علي المحلول يوه قصدي المحمول ورديت عليها كانت صاحبتى أبتا و يظهر ان ربنا لهانى علشان مفكرش في الفراخ .أعدت أتكلم و بابا أخد التوم و الخص ولما وصلنا عند الست بتاعه الفراوله كنت خلصت المكالمه. اخلر حاجه اشتريناها كان الخرشوف...الله علي الخرشوف وهو مقلي بحبه جدا.
وده كان يومى مع بابا فى السوق لما كبرت.

Desert

Means watching the sunrise…….sand……sky…..mountains……till the sunset.
Listening to music…..soft……waltz…..hip hop…..rap
Laughing……loudly from your deep heart till you cry
Crying silently or very loud till you are tired
Shouting and be nervous cause there is no water
U Feel U R Free
Do all things you can't do anywhere else
Dancing till the end with your dearest friend
I wanna go to the desert and feel free

It's a cool wonderful feeling…….

When you laugh from your deep heart till you have tears.
When you are on the beach under the sun and in front the sea.
When you are in the desert listening to soft music and dancing with the one you love.
When someone thinks about you at the time you think about him.
When someone dear to you calls you at the Time you need him.
When someone knows what you want without telling him that in words.
When someone gives you a present in your Birthday that you always have wished.
When someone loves you and whisper in you ears telling you I LOVE YOU ,U R MY ANGEL.
When he watches your face without you feel and suddenly you look at him and c him looking at you.
Wow I like all those feelings

The worst feeling is…..

when you want to cry and there is no tears .
when the one you love doesn’t feel you .
when u lose someone that was so dearest to you.
when the baby cry and you don’t know why .
when u don’t know what u want .
when no one cares about you .
when you feel as a stranger in your home.
when you scream and no one hears this scream because it’s inside you.
when you don't find someone to tell him about your Problems.
when you fear to talk about what's inside you.
when you don't trust anyone.
when you trust someone that doestn't deserve your trust.


PS: If you want to add something else you can do it in your Comment

اللى يعيش ياما يشوف

يومياتى في المكتبة
النظام

الرحمة ياسيد........ في حاجة اسمها نظام
لكن أعتقد ان الشعب المصرى لم يسمع هذة الكلمة من قبل
أو سمعها ولم يدرك معناه
أو اعتقد انها مش ليه
من الأخر كده عمل انه مسمعش الكلمه ديه قبل كده.
هو وبس
هو و من بعده الطوفان
حجته انه مستعجل وواراه معاد و هو تلاقيه خالى شغل أصلا وولا وراه ولا قدامه أيه مواعيد ولا يحزنون عايز يعمل لنفسه Prestige وخلاص
مفيش في قاموسه اللغوى كلمه اسمها نظام
النظام معدوم تماما

الموبايل
اللي مش طبيعي ان حد يبقى محترم في الزمن ده و يقفل الموبايل اثناء وجوده داخل أرجاء المكتبه
ده يبقى بجد من عالم المثاليات.
عالم الزمن اللي فات
بالرغم من أن ادارة المكتبة معلقة ورق علي كل الحيطان باغلاق الموبايل أثناء التواجد في المكتبة
لكن أنت بتكلم مين ياعم...... دي ناس مابتعرفش تقرأ
ناس محرومه مبتصدق حد يديها missed call
ومش أى missed ديه نانسى عجرم ياباشا
تخلى المكتبه واقفة علي واحدة و نص
والناس بدل ما تقرا تقوم ترقص علي الفيديو كليب.مهو Polyphonic بئه رنات مجسمه يعنى
ولو زعقت و قلت الموبايل يتعمل silent لو سمحت
يعملك فيها انه ميعرفش يعينى
طب حتى لو مقرأش الورق اللى متعلق ال Logic بيقول سوري قصدي المنطق بيقول أن المكتبه مكان لازم يبقى فية هدوء
لكن تقول لمين ولا لمين
وعجبى

أبو بلاش كتر منه
الطبيعي ان الواحد يجي يسأل علي حاجه عارف اسمها سواء مجله أو كتاب
مش يقوللك أنا عايز الكتاب اللى بيتوزع أو المجله اللى بتتوزع
مشهاين علية حتى يحفظ اسم الكتاب
ييجي والغباء بينط من عينيه ويقوللك أنا الكتاب اللى بيتوزع
فأسأله أنا كمان بنفس مستوى الغباء اسمه ايه الكتاب اللى بيتوزع ده؟
يرد علي بكل ثقه مش عارف
طب اكذب عليا و قولي نسيت ولوانها برده شكلها وحش
أرد عليه أنا بأة أقوللة ايه ده؟
طب لم تعرف اسمها تبقى تيجى تقول لي وأنا هاديهالك
وينتهي الحوار مع هذا الزائر الكريم
ولا يسعني الا أن أقول الرحمة من عندك يارب

حب الاقتناء لمجرد انه ببلاش
لما واحد يروح يعمل اشتراك لمجله أكيد لازم يبقى عارف أسمها
و الا هو عايز يشترك فيها ليه؟
مش ييجي زي العبيط كده يقول لك أنا عايز أملي الأستمارة من غير ما يعرف حتى ديه بتاعه ايه
تسأله :أنت عارف الأستماره ديه بتاعه ايه؟
يقوللك: ايوه بتاعه المجله اللى بتتوزع
أسأله: اسمها ايه المجله ديه
يقول بكل ثقه : مش عارف
طب قولو لي البنى أدم ده عايز المجله اللى من غير اسم ديه يعمل بيها ايه؟
ممكن يكون محتاج شويه ورق يقلي عليهم بطا طس لوالدته في البيت
المهم قلتله بكل ثقه برضه اعرف اسم المجله وأنا أديللك الأستماره
مش يقول لى حاضر و يمشى..... لا
رد عليا و قالي يعني أنا غلطان اني معرفش اسم المجله؟؟؟؟؟؟
أقوله ايه ده؟؟؟ قلط في بالي
(أيوه غلطان من ساسك لراسك.... ديه مكتبه محترمه ياعم
مش جمعيه بنوزع فيها فراخ...... ده حتى الجمعيه بطلت توزع فراخ علشان أنفلونزا الطيور)

Cairo Opera House

Last Week I went to Cairo OPERA House.
It's a wonderful place that you'll like very much.
Whenever I go there I feel how respectable this place is.
On this day the weather was very bad and not clear.
And as a resolution there weren't lot of people that came.
The music will play after 5 min .
So I took my place in the first row so that I can concentrate better.
I wanted to enjoy my time and forget anything that bothers me………

The music began.It was Jazz Music.
If u wanna enjoy this music with me all what you have to do is:

* Close your eyes and listen to the Music
You'll feel that you are flying with the one you Love.

* Close your eyes and dream and imagine the scene
it's like watching a romantic soft dream.

* Close your eyes and feel the music you hear
it's an amazing cool feeling that I can feel.

Music without words can tell you everything you feel
So I define the music language THE LOVER LANGUAGE
It speaks to your heart much than words do.

Music can cry and laugh
Music can be happy and can be sad
Music can be angry and be calm
Music can be noisy and can be quiet

Just feel the music with your heart
So close your eyes and listen to it from your deep heartJust close your eyes and dream

أيام قضيتها ما بين الحيره و اليأس

أيام بكيت فيها الي أن جفت دموعى
أيام سكت فيها لسانى عن الكلام وتكلم حزنى نيابه عن لسانى

أيام كان الألم يعتصرني و الحزن يملانى

كنت أطلب منة الرحمة و العون

كنت أدعوة من كل قلبى لكى يسمعنى ويمد لى بطوق النجاة

كنت أبكي بحرقة و من أعماقى
لم أرغب أن يشاركني أحد حزنى غيرة
فكنت أحكى لة سبب حزنى و ما يعترينى
وأخذت أبكى و أبكى و أبكى
الي أن جفت دموعي وهدأ فؤادى
سمعت صوتة الدافىء الحنون و هو ينادي
تعالى ياابنتى في أحضانى
وارتاحى على أكتافى ولا تخافي
فجريت نحوه كما يجرى الطفل الي حضن أمة
وأحسست بحبة كما لم يحبنى أحد من الناس

No one saw him except me…..

1.)
I went with them to this trip……..I know all of
them very well. But they aren't close to me. I took the place near the window. I find my pleasure while I watch the way when we travel - I like to watch everything that happens on the street
(People's life /children who plays/men who r building a houses etc.)
Every time I watch them I began to think about my life and that I have to thank God about everything he gave to me.
(My family / my friends /good Job / and most of all the good health)
We began to reach the desert and I began to listen to music. Listening to music is one of my favorite hobbies.
It makes me feel that I'm alone ….in a very wonderful world
where I can fly with my dreams….and imagine nice scenes.
I like music so much especially when I write my diaries.
It gives me ideas and cool feelings.
The bus was full of youth from both sex boys and girls. Some of them were playing cards others were chatting and another group was singing some nice songs. Everyone was doing something except him. He was reading a book….he was a new member in our community but I used to see him before. I don't know anything about him except that he looks nice and gentle not like the others.
I took a very quickly look at the bus and what the others were doing and then began to listen to my music once more. I was in a very fresh mood. I was excited to go to this trip cause after the exams and studying so hard I wanted to realax and to have a rest……so I didn't care who from my closest friends will come to this trip…..all what I wanted is to relax don't think about anything except myself and my whole life. I'm that kind of girls who think a lot about herself and search about her lost soul. I used to write everything that happens in my life .So the aim of this trip was very clear to me….relax / think about my whole life and learn something new in my life.
The way to 3in So7'na wasn't so long. At twelve we reached the Hotel.
2.)
Everyone took his bags, back bags and everything that he brought with him. I don't like this time cause there is always noise and I like to be in a quiet place.
So I left everything and went to the see to tell him
,, hey I'm here I came to greet you. Miss you so much. Long time ago I haven't see you….but it was out of my hand cause I've had exams and other things to do. But I came to you as I promised you last Time I was with you.''
The conversation between us seemed to be so long that the group began to search about me. But they knew that I'll be on the see because they know the relationship between me and the see and the nature in general.
They told the girl who's going to share me the room that she will find me at the beach talking to the see. At that time the sun was shinning and the clouds were hugging her in a very romantic scene .I didn't want to leave this scene but I couldn't cause the girl came to me and told me that I have to come now.
On our way to the hotel we began to talk to each other. She was studying medicine and was on her last year and she was waiting for her exam results .But she was smart and always was the first. She wants to continue her study in medicine and be a good children doctor. I told her that I'm studying languages in a language Faculty and was also in my last year waiting for the exam results. We didn't talk so much because the Hotel wasn't so far from the beach…..it was a very nice cute Hotel. When we reached our room I began to put my clothes in the wardrobe and tidy up my bed in a nice way so that when I come at night I find everything ready to sleep.
And the girl changed her clothes and excused to go and play football with the others because I told her that I'm going to be late and she can go if she wants.
After taking the shower I began to join the others in the football game. We laughed so much because we can't play football so good like boys did but we tried to bring goals in unfairness ways….hihhihihi
3.)
Yalla guys………it's Lunchtime……came now….and continue playing football after the lunchtime, said our leader.
In fife seconds I didn't see a single person in the Hotel all of them ran to eat……they were all hungry. But the smell of the food wasn't so nice to me so I decided to go and eat anywhere else. But I stayed a little bit alone and then took the decision to go and eat in Pizza Hut. I was sure that there will be Pizza Hut somewhere near the Hotel. At the Time when I took the decision to go and search for Pizza Hut I saw him coming from the eating Room. It seems that he didn't like the food there too. He asked me: Why didn't you come to eat? I told him:,, I didn't kike the smell of the food and was going outside now to ask if there is Pizza Hut near the Hotel.
He said:,, Oh it's a very good idea .But it's a strange place and you shouldn't go alone so if you don't mind I can join you because I didn't like the food too….and I like to eat Pizza too.
It was the first Time that we talked to each other. I've never talked to him because I always thought he was arrogant and don't like to talk to anyone. But this time he was kind and gentle. I won't tell you that I wasn't happy that he talked to me.
He was so nice and began to introduce himself and told me that he is working as a Translator in a translation office.
Wow….I like Translation so much because you translate your culture and your thoughts to another language and I see it's very important that we understand each other. In other words we can say that the Translation is a bridge to other thoughts. The conversation was very interesting but we reached Pizza Hut very quickly. We were very hungry so that no one of us talked a single word during we ate. It was very delicious. He insisted to invite me but I'm not an easy girl and I refused…..everyone has to pay for himself that is my rule. He couldn't say anything and respected my opinion.
On the way to the hotel he asked me about what I'm doing in my life and about my study.
,,I am a student in a language faculty in the last year and I'm waiting for the exams results. I still don't know what I want to be after the college…..I didn't think about that yet. We just have the vacation and I wanted to relax so I decided to come in this trip. I don't like to talk about the future because I live my day and don't think of tomorrow. I let tomorrow till tomorrow.'' That was my answer. We couldn't complete our conversation because we reached the Hotel and I excused him to go and have a nap.
It was 3 o'clock when we reached the Hotel .I ran to the room and changed my clothes to sleep. The room was quiet clean and fresh. The bed was comfortable thanks God and the weather was nice. It wasn't hot…… there were nice cool winds and I felt asleep very quickly because I was very tired.
4.)
After two hours I woke up……..I was fresh and liked the nap I took very much. It was Tea Time .The Tea Time is very holy for me. My family and me used to drink Tea at this Time in the Balcony where you can see the sunset in a very nice view. But I decided to drink tea and eat the brownies at the beach where I can see the view of the sun when she goes to the other see. It will be a very nice view there the sky changes it colors every second in a very nice painting picture that only God can paint.
Before going to the sea I ran to my room to bring the camera and my diary book. Both of them are the most important thing in my Life. And of course my walkman too.
It was a very nice clean beach.
The sun was going to the other continent behind the sea.
She was telling me bye.
But before she goes she asked me if I want something from the other continent behind the sea.
I told her yes my sunshine send my greetings to my family there and please don't forget to give them my morning Kiss.
The sun smiled and told me ok my dear as u wish.
I'll go to your family and wake them in the morning with my shine and let the winds open their windows so that I can give them your nice Kiss.
Do you want something else my dear?
No dearest sunnie but just tell them that I miss them so much and they have to come and ask about us.
OK my lovely I'll send your sms to them.
Let me go now sweetie because I'm late and the moon has to come or he will be late.
OK OK peace be with you sunnie.
I found myself alone ……… in this big huge unknown.
No one was on the beach ……… except me and the sea.
I began to listen to music ………. And opened my diary book to write what I feel.
But be4I began to write a word……I saw him coming to me.
He was smiling in a very cute way.
I couldn't recognize him at first……till he came near me and asked if he can have a place.
He sat on a rock near me and watched my face .
He was the same guy I ate with in Pizza Hut.
This time we didn't talk to each other……but our eyes did.
He asked and I answered.
Don't ask me what was the question…it's a secret between us that I won't mention.
Sometimes eyes can talk more than words do.
And it seems that this happened to us.
After a while the weather began to be cold and I wasn't wearing warm clothes so he took off his Jacket and gave it to me….
Oh he was really very kind to me .It's a nice feeling when you feel that someone cares about you.
Thanks for the coat…..
You are always welcomed my dear…..
Tell me, do you usually go to the sea at the sunset time?
Yes, of course. It's a very nice romantic view. I replied.
I used to talk to the sun everyday and send her greeting to my family who live in the other side of the sea.
You can consider the sun as the second bestfriend to me.
Without the sun I can't live…she bright my days and give me the warm when I feel cold let me enjoy the day when I go with my friends during the day. She's a beautiful friend to me. When I'm sad all what I have to do is to enjoy her warm in the balcony and that's all.
If I talked to you about the sun I won't be able to finish it till tomorrow morning till she come again.
The sun for me is a Super Unbelievable Nature.
When she shines in the morning I open the inbox to receive my greetings she brought to me from the other side from the sea.
She tells me what she see and what she don't see she has a big imagination.
I think I talked a lot about the inteem relation between me and the sun.
He was very impressed with my speech and didn't interrupt me till I finished my speech.
Ohhhh I'm so sorry I think I bothered you with my speech about the sun. But I like her so much and when I like someone so much I talk about him all the time.
And what about you? Do you like the sunset Time like me?
He said:,, I liked your speech about the sun so much. Do you know that you are a romantic girl?
In a shy face I turned my face and told him no.
He then told me I like the sun too but I like the sunrise more than the sunset because it gives me the hope of a new day.
It always tells me TODAY IS ANOTHER GOOD DAY.
At the begin of a new day God tells me he gave me another chance to do good things and I have to use this chance and be a good person who help others and give them as much as I can.
He was talking very slowly in a confident way. I liked his speech about the sun too. We began to walk on the sand and looked at the sky. It was dark now and I think we should go to the hotel now.
The beach was very silent and all what you can hear is the sound of the sea.

But suddenly I heard the sound of birds who lives in our balcony .
OH No it was a dream???
And I woke up from the very nice dream and found myself alone on the bed.
I kept thinking about the man I saw in my dream. I was very sad because I won't see him anymore.
I began to think about myself and discovered that I fall in love in this man .How and when I don't know.
The thing I liked most about this man was his kindness when he gave me his coat when the weather was cold.
I liked his smile when he talked about the sun.
I loved our speech on the beach about the sunrise and the sunset.
I don't know if it was a true love or just I admired someone that talked to me under the sun and at the beach.

God is always there 4 u

Freitag, Februar 24, 2006

It's cold and dark …
We're in Winter….
Everything is quiet….
Except the bell of the dogs which r in the street…..
I'm trying 2 sleep but I began to think….
I'm afraid to die….
Though I don't like this world
But I'm afraid from the unknown
I fear the death
I fear to be alone in a big huge unknown
I fear to die without saying Goodbye
I fear to die out of laugh
I fear to die out of sadness
I fear the happiness and the fearness
I fear I fear I fear
Sometimes I feel that I'll explode out of fearness
I know this is unfaith
But everybody fear the death
And at this time I was very depressed ِ
I couldn't find a solution 4 my problem
But i knew why i was unhappy
It's not only cause of my problem
it's because i was away from my God
Sometimes u have the solution infront of ur eyes
but u don't c it cause u r in the problem and u don't c anything else except the problem
But thanks God I'm very happy now
Cause I came to God and he is the only one that has always a solution for any Problem.
I just wanted to tell everybody..
When u have a problem and u r very depressed
Just go to God and give him the Problem and he will do anything to let u be happy once more. Trust me he is always there 4u
but just call him and he will always answer u
He said : Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (KJV)

Mein Traum ist es in ein Maerchen zu leben

Sicherlich werdet Ihr euch fragen und wundern was fuer ein merkwuerdiger Traum ist es das.
Ich erzaehle euch jetzt mein Traeum aber erst moechte ich mich vorstellen.
Ich bin ein Maedchen (ein ruhiges Maedchen).Ich mag das Lesen sehr und das Buch ist mein Freund in einer Welt wo es keine Freunde und keine Liebe gibt.
Grimms Maerchen sind meine Lieblingsmaerchen.
Jeden Tag bevor ich schlafen gehe bin ich daran gewoehnt ein schoenes Maerchen zu lesen.

Gute Nacht Mama....
Nacht mein Schatz...schlaf gut und traeum dir was schoenes.
Ok Mama ...werde ich machen.

Khhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
Ohhhhhhhh was fuer eine schoene Welt ist denn das...Garten....Blumen......schoene gruene Baeume....nette Leute......sicherlich ist das nicht die Erde.
Hier herrscht Frieden ja Frieden..... dieses Wort habe ich seit langer Zeit nicht gehoert ......eigentlich seit ich geboren bin....leider .
Hier ist es ganz anders schoene Welt.....schoene Natur...es sieht wie ein gemaltes Bild aus.Wer hat es denn gemalt??? Nein.Wer hat es denn gezeichnet...???
Die Haeuser sehen schoen aus.
Die leute sehen wie die Engeln aus.
Die Kinder spiele mit einander (Schwarze und Weisse)
Kein Heulen.....................Frohe Kinder
Keine Traenen..................Froehliches Leben
Keine Krankenhaeuser.....gesundliches Leben
Keine Kriege.....................Friedliches Leben
Kein Hass..........................Liebe
Keine Kinderheime............Gesunde Familien
Kein Leiden........................Gutes Leben
Keine Konflikte keine Probleme Kein Schwarz alles ist Weiss.

Au au nein neinwas ist denn das fuer ein schreckliches Geraeuch?Sicherlich kommt es nicht von hier.nein nein...wo bin ich jetzt?Ach nein das war ein Traum.

Oh mein lieber Schatz......was ist denn los mit dirwarum siehst du so ungluecklich?
Oh Mama...ich war im Paradis ich lebte erlebte ein schoene Nacht in eine schoene Welt eine pure Welt.
Oh Schatzie nochmal ein Traum.Du sollst doch in diesem Welt leben und nicht in deinen Traeume.Du sollst dein Leben akzeptieren so wie es ist.Es gibt gute und schlechte Sachen.Deine Aufgabe ist es gut zu verhalten und immer positiv denken.Seh immer die gute Sachen und nicht immer die schlechte Sachendamit du gut gluecklich und froehlich leben kannst.

Wisst ihr jetzt liebe freunde warum ich das Maerchen gewaehlt habe?Im Maerchen siegt immer das Gute ueber das Boese und deswegen mag ich sehr im Maerchen zu leben.
Na und was traeumst du?Wo moechtest du leben? Sicherlich nicht in dieser welt .